Real Estate Agents, Part 1:

There nothing like a few good jokes on the lighter side of real estate.  Here are some of the funniest ones sent in by our members.  I guarantee you'll laugh your head off.  Just remember to pick it back up.  You'll need it if you're going to be successful in this business. Lol!  ;-)

Got a good joke?  Share it with us!  We love a good laugh as much as you do.  Tell us about it!

Ask For Raise

"I have to have a raise in my commission," the agent said to his manager. "There are three other companies after me." "Is that so?" asked the manager. "What other companies are after you?" "The electric company, the telephone company, and the gas company."

Buy Me Out

A very successful real estate broker had a meeting with his new son-in-law. "I love my daughter, and now I welcome you into the family," said the man. "To show you how much we care for you, I'm making you a 50-50 partner in my real estate office. All you have to do is go to the office every day and learn the business." The son-in-law interrupted, "I hate office. I can't stand agents." "I see," replied the father-in-law. "Well, then you'll work in the office and take charge of some the paperworks." "I hate paperworks," said the son-on-law. "I can't stand being stuck behind a desk all day." "Wait a minute," said the father-in-law. "I just made you half-owner of my real estate office, but you don't like office and won't work in a office. What am I going to do with you?" "Easy," said the young man. "Buy me out."

Commission Check

Commission Check

An agent who was being paid by the week approached his office manager and held up his last paycheck.
'This is two hundred dollars less than we agreed on,' he said.
'I know,' the manager said. 'But last week I overpaid you two hundred dollars, and you never complained.'
'Well, I don't mind an occasional mistake,' the agent answered, 'but when it gets to be a habit, I feel
I have to call it to your attention.'

Congratulations On Your New Home

A client bought a new home and the broker wanted to send flowers for the occasion. They arrived at the home and the owner read the card; it said "Rest in Peace". The owner was angry and called the florist to complain. After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was, the florist said. "Sir, I'm really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry you should imagine this: somewhere there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying, "Congratulations on your new home".

Crusty Old Man

A crusty old man walks into a real estate office and says to an female agent, "I want to sell my god damn house." To which the astonished female agent replies, "I beg your pardon, sir; I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?" "Listen up, damn it. I said I want to sell my fucking house!" "I'm very sorry sir, but we do not tolerate that kind of language in this office." So saying, the agent goes over to the officer broker to tell him about her situation. They both return and the broker asks the old geezer, "What seems to be the problem here?" "There's no damn problem," the man says, "I want to sell my fucking million dollar home." "I see," says the manager, "and this bitch is giving you a hard time?"

Cut Workload

Salesman: This computer will cut your workload by 50%. Office Manager: That's great, I'll take two of them.

Debt-Propelled

AFTER nearly ten years of remote rural living, my husband, a salesman, was transferred to a new territory near a large city. We found the prospect of being near a community rich in culture very appealing. Our enthusiasm was severely dampened, however, after a frustrating day of house-hunting and discovering suburban real estate prices. Some time later, over lunch, we complained to my husband's new supervisor about the exorbitant monthly payments on the property which we had selected, anticipating a sympathetic reaction. Instead, he exclaimed, "That's just how I like to see my salespeople - debt-propelled!"

Ebby Hallida Realtors

Real Estate in Dallas, Plano, South Lake, Carrolton, Frisco, McKinney, and Collin County. Check out local partners and the latest real estate news.

Ethics Exam

First Agent : Did you pass your ethics exam? Second Agent: I passed my ethics exam. Of course I've cheated.

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