Real Estate Humor On Real Estate Agents, Part 3
Real Estate Agents, Part 3:
There nothing like a few good jokes on the lighter side of real estate. Here are some of the funniest ones sent in by our members. I guarantee you'll laugh your head off. Just remember to pick it back up. You'll need it if you're going to be successful in this business. Lol! ;-)
Got a good joke? Share it with us! We love a good laugh as much as you do. Tell us about it!
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Two real estate agents decided to start a new career to sell shoe.
The two real estate agents goes to Africa to open up new markets.
Three days after arriving, one real estate agent said, "I'm returning on the next flight.
Can't sell shoes here. Everybody goes barefoot."
At the same time the other real estate agent sent an email to the factory,
telling "The prospects are unlimited. Nobody wears shoes here!"
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An agent in my office attended a septic tank cleaning on behalf of her buyer along with the
lisiting agent & the husband-seller. When the service man lifted the lid of the septic tank, he beckoned to everyone gathered nearby to come look. "See all those white floating things," he said, "condoms can ruin a septic system."
The husband-seller blanched, then blurted out, "I had a vasectomy before I moved in here."
"Oh," said the service man, "well boys will be boys."
"My children are grown"
muttered the seller-husband.
Just at that moment, the wife-seller's car turned into the driveway.
Both agents were in their cars and ready to exit even before the seller-wife got out of her car. |
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Good times, bad times, Agents will be advertising. In good times agents
want to advertise; in bad times they have to.
Two women were walking through the woods when a frog called out to them and said: "Help me, ladies! I am a real estate agent who, through an evil witch's curse, has been transformed into a frog. If one of you will kiss me, I'll be returned to my former state!"
One woman took out her purse, grabbed the frog, and stuffed it inside her handbag. The other woman, aghast, screamed, "Didn't you hear him? If you kiss him, he'll turn into a real estate agent!"
The second woman replied, "Sure, but these days a talking frog is worth more than a real estate agent!" |
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A real-estate agent, had difficulty getting a listing from a customer whose theory was that "there is no substitute for experience." After he asked her a third time how many years she had been in the business, she told him: "Sir, there is a little-known historical fact that Moses brought three tablets down from the mountain-two were the Ten Commandments and the other was my real-estate license!" She got the listing. |
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Use Of The Office As A Home |
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Our Agent Ted worked overtime for several weeks. On the final evening, one woman said, "Ted, do you have a copy of the latest tax regulations? There's something I want to look up." "What's that?" I asked. "Use of the office as a home." |
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The Devil tells a Real Estate Agent, "Look, I can make you richer, more famous, and more successful than any Real Estate Agent
alive. In fact, I can make you the greatest agent that ever lived."
"Well," says the Real Estate Agent, "what do I have to do in return?"
The Devil smiles, "Well, of course you have to give me your soul," he says, "but you also have to give me the souls of your children, the souls of your children's children and, as a matter of fact, you have to give me the souls of all your descendants throughout eternity."
"Wait a minute," the Real Estate Agent says cautiously, "What's the catch?" |
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Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging of how great their fathers are.
The first one says: "Well, my father runs the fastest. He can fire an arrow, and start to run, I tell you, he gets there before the arrow."
The second one says: "Ha! You think that's fast! My father is a hunter. He can shoot his gun and be there before the bullet."
The third one listens to the other two and shakes his head. He then says: "You two know nothing about fast. My father is a real estate agent. He stops working at 4:30 and he is home by 3:45!" |
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Why Brokers Make More Money: |
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Now, for the first time we have a rigid mathematical proof that explains why this is in fact true.
Postulate 1: Knowledge is power.
Postulate 2: Time is money.
As every Engineer knows, Work / Time = Power
Since Knowledge = Power, and Time = Money, we have Work / Money = Knowledge
Solving for Money, we get: Work / Knowledge = Money Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero,
Money approaches infinity, regardless of the amount of work done.
Conclusion: The less you know, the more you make. |
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